And here we go again with most cheesy college topics! Today our favorite rubric Nerdify Reviews will bring some light on co-living issues.

Living with a roommate at college or university can be a lot of fun and an experience that you will miss the most when you graduate, yet things will not always go smoothly and you may encounter several roommate problems. In order to help you survive through the college, we have collected the most common troubles and the ways how to solve them! 

1. Your roommate is way too messy (or way too clean)!

Without a doubt, we all have our personal considerations regarding being clean and messy, which makes it highly likely that your roommate’s opinion may differ from yours. The best way, however, is to make little compromises and discuss the most challenging moments as they come up. When someone acts sloppy and does not seem to care for keeping the place clean, try to see if you can approach the problem on your own and share some tips about keeping the room clean in a light-hearted and fun manner. If this does not work for you and the roommate continues being messy, try to discuss the problem openly and share the responsibilities, so you both share certain tasks that simply have to be done.

Sometimes you may appear to be a little bit messy or your roommate is crazy about keeping the room clean. Well, while it is a good thing to keep everything tidy, it should not go overboard. If you are trapped in such situation, do your best to take some time to throw the dirty laundry into a bin, keep your side of the room tidy, and make little pleasant surprises for your tidy roommate to show that you really care!

2. Your roommate uses your belongings without permission!

Now this problem can be really stressful as it is a privacy intrusion and a trouble that has to be dealt with! Remember that even if the intentions of your college roommate are not always bad and mean, it is still an issue that has to be discussed to make sure that you understand privacy and a list of personal belongings the same way! Living with a roommate is like living with a sibling, so things often get borrowed without a second thought. Still, you have to discuss the boundaries and do your best to build a good relationship. You do not have to lock things up and worry about expensive clothes or your laptop. The key to success is discussing your position and making sure that there are no words left unspoken. Just talk it out and say what is alright to do from time to time and what things will not be tolerated. In case nothing helps and your roommate ignores your requests, ask the college counselor for help.

3. A “Third roommate” college problem!

While bringing in a boyfriend to the college room can be a lot of fun, there are still some rules and restrictions that you have to remember! As you share a relatively small space with your roommate, you can have a guest and it is alright, but it should not be a fun place to hang out all the time. If you have to deal with a roommate who thinks that it is okay to let his or her friends be there all the time, it can easily become a problem!

As always, communication is the key to addressing the problem right and avoiding the conflict. No, you do not really have to tell your friend to kick a friend out immediately, but it is perfectly fine to remind that your room is a shared space where you have to study and have some private space and quiet. If nothing works, try to come to an agreement and make a schedule to agree on the times when both of you are fine with having friends over or when one of you would go home or stay over at friends for the weekend. If you have to get ready for an exam and you just cannot concentrate, make sure to let your roommate know. Try to become the best friends and care for each other as you have fun, but remember that you are the hosts in a little college world, so the guest is a guest and not a new roommate after all!

4. Your roommate has different sleeping habits!

And yes, this is one of the crucial things in co-living, that’s why Nerdify reviews it as well. We all know the feeling when you are up early in the morning and your roommate likes to have some sleep and prefers to stay up late at night to study, listen to music, and basically feel good! As a caring roommate, you do not want to disturb and take the best care of a situation, yet you do not know how to find the right balance between your needs.

Speaking from our experience, the solution is going to the public library or to a student’s cafe if you want to study in peace. If you want to hear some music or talk to a friend, you can easily go to the public area where it is alright to make some noise. Likewise, if you want to get some precious sleep and your roommate has other plans, make sure to speak clearly and explain that there are special study rooms and the common areas a college student can visit to relax and have fun. As you seek a compromise, share your study schedules and see what solutions you may find to let both of you have a good sleep and fun at the end of the day!

5. Your roommate is acting mean!

Even if you have all the schedules and sleep patterns in agreement and take care of each other’s belongings, there are still odd troubles that may come up! Sometimes your problem with a roommate may become an issue for no obvious reason. In most cases, it is enough to talk about the problem and let things cool off without a conflict. Yet, if your relationship with a mean roommate starts to affect you physically and mentally, the best thing to do is turn to a mediator by talking to the college counseling officer. If there is a problem and you cannot get by on your own, seek for professional help! It is perfectly normal to have an unbiased third party individual to help both of you to see where the problem lies without a damage to your life and an academic success!

6. Your roommate is never there!

While there may be several reasons for your roommate’s absence, the fact may become a problem for you. Either you may feel lonely or find yourself in a situation when you need some support, your roommate’s presence in the room is an important point. It may be that your roommate is missing home and tries to be away from the college, yet in the other cases, your roommate may be dealing with a peer pressure or a way too controlling boyfriend that affects her college life. Finally, your roommate may be in trouble, so it is very good to talk to a college counselor if you think that there is a problem that should be reported.

In any case, try to be as careful as you can and make sure that your decision is ethical. Remember that your roommate may just feel embarrassed to talk and not know how to share the same space with a college mate. Be the one to make the first step and trust your heart!

7. Your roommate is always in the room!

Now, this is the opposite of a previous problem, so let us think what can be done! If your college roommate seems to be always there, try to get your friend involved and tell about all the existing college clubs and fun activities. Encourage him or her to do something special and tell of your own responsibilities. If you are a musician or an athlete, share your passion and invite your roommate along!

Of course, it may be that a college room is a special place where your roommate feels safe! Nevertheless, try to make your roommate feel good about college life. Tell about all the nice cafes and the libraries to study at, the parks, and the shops with lots of student deals, so your friend may become interested and leave you in the room on your own (or come along)!

No matter what your roommate problem is, remember that the best way is to talk it out and avoid keeping it all inside! All members of the awesome Nerdify reviews team agree that it always right just to talk to your roommate, be there, stay empathic, respectful, and caring because it will always let you remember college life as a precious experience and time!

Have a good one!

Hey there! What a lovely day to enjoy new Nerdify reviews post. Ready to unleash your bad habits and fight them?

It’s already December and soon enough you gonna think of new resolutions to make. College is a challenging time, which always comes with risks of really bad academic troubles that we all seem to go through from time to time. There are new challenges, unknown environment, too much studying, and the joy of youth kicking in, so it is only natural that you try to cut the corners and find an easy way out! Nevertheless, it is important to take care of your college life and do your best to ditch the bad academic habits.

1. The Art of Procrastination

Procrastination problem is what most students face on a daily basis as soon as the battle of deadlines versus the fun times starts! There is a movie that you definitely want to see or a party that you want to join early to meet your best friend or even a blog post that you want to read. This is when procrastination gets in the way. Trust us, we all have been there and it is only natural to put off some difficult tasks and think that you can do it later. The best way to ditch this bad habit is writing down a list of the “urgent” and “not so urgent” tasks in two columns. This way you can get more focused at tasks at hand and organize your time in a more efficient way!

2. Junk Food Problem

While it is tasty, quick, and you do not have to spend way too much time cooking, junk food can become a bad academic habit that comes up as soon as you start the college and try to get through the myriad of tasks. You run around, you catch a bite here and there, you talk to your friends as you eat, run around in the park, still chewing something. Sounds familiar? Add the late night pizza and Chinese takeouts to the list and you risk making all the healthcare specialists sad and angry! If there is a kitchen in your college room, start cooking your own simple food and check with your college friends to share the tips and get the best recipes. Moreover, stick to more accurate dining times and make sure that a time when you eat something is not in the middle of another task!

3. Using “you know”, “like” and “totally” When You Speak.

Now that you are about to become a skilled professional, your task is to work at the social skills and strive for academic success. You have to learn how to speak in a professional way and get rid of all the rubbish words and slang. We all get this “you know” and “like” bugs in our sentences, yet getting rid of these words can be really helpful. Just give it a bit more thought and learn to breathe! They call them “the filler words” because they are used to fill the space when you do not know what to say or when your lack of confidence comes through. Instead of using all these words, try to think and learn to talk at a slower pace, allowing yourself to focus on a subject and remember all the important information. This way the people will listen to you and know that you are experienced and have sufficient knowledge.

4. Ignoring College Group Projects

While far not everyone is guilty of this bad academic habit, it still exists and can be damaging to your college success, future resume, and a list of strong social skills that you definitely should have. Think of the group work where some people seem to do it all for the others while you just sit and watch. Do not be like one of such students and take an active role! Show some good work ethics and find a golden medium between a laid-back attitude and being a control freak. Be open to suggestions, yet learn to speak your opinion. It is a group project after all and everyone should do their best to be responsible and contribute!

5. The King of the Party

Sometimes it seems that it is not possible to survive through college without partying! While some of this is true since you do not have to turn nerdy and geeky being stuck in a college room with the books all the time, you have to remember of all the important deadlines and organize your parties (and the ones you want to join) wisely, so it does not affect your academic schedule and the other commitments. Make a party something to look forward to with no dark shadows from the tasks you have not finished yet!  Even if you are a king of the party and like to have fun, remember that you can do both, if you manage your time and the plans!

6. You Bite More Than You Can Swallow: Doing Too Much at Once!

It is no wonder that an endless list of homework to do, confusing classes, and all the extra-curricular activities can make things a little bit too difficult! As a result, you may get a bad habit of trying to do it all at once. You start multi-tasking and aim for finishing several tasks at the same time. You may be a member of several clubs and you try to join two or more group projects, yet you start noticing that you are stressed out and anxious. It is a normal reaction of your mind and body to biting more than you can swallow. The solution is to take one step at a time and form a daily timetable to make sure that you give your best to each task. When you cannot do your best in a club or fail your friends by not being there, thinking of a next activity, it is never any good!

7. Bad Sleeping Habits

This is definitely one of the worst habits a college student may get! It is also one of the most challenging problems to get rid of! As your sleeping habits get worse and start to affect your grades and health in general, there are several ways to stay away from trouble! Schedule some morning time at the college gym, for example, or team up with your roommate by making plans for a specified time. This way you can keep quiet when you have to study and party hard when you both feel like it! Make sure to go to bed at the right time and remember that sleeping is important even when you feel energetic.

8. The Lack of Fashion

Maybe not really a bad academic habit, but it still makes a certain impression about you! The talk is about a lack of fashion or a specific fashion a college student may have. Think of your favorite t-shirt and the sweatpants that you just put on and let go. While it is quite convenient, it makes you look stressed out and not so professional. Choose the clothes that make you look stylish and professional, making it clear that you care for your outfit. Once people notice that you care for the way you look, you are no longer “that college student”, but a “bright and motivated person”!

9. Spending Too Much Time Online

Not exclusively a college student’s bad problem, the time we spend online is more harmful to your life and success when you have to study and get the good grades. We often tell ourselves that “five more minutes” won’t make a difference and scroll down to another post on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Yet, it all takes time! Just make your online presence useful for your future major by making your profile look professional and combine your social networks knowledge and skills with the exploration of a subject that you study!

10. Getting Rid of Laziness

Laziness is always a trouble for a college student and basically anyone who tries to reach some progress and grow as a person! Do not waste your time for the meaningless and dull things that just take your time and teach you nothing. Join social clubs, get involved in volunteering, and explore the opportunities that a college life offers! Do not sit locked in your college room, meet people, smile to others, have fun at the party, share your knowledge, experience, and skills, and learn how to make new friends! Do not be lazy because listening to this bad habit is actually stealing your own life!

Take care and stay motivated,

Nerdify reviews team

Here is another blog post dedicated to Nerdify reviews of the most interesting and important stuff. This time we want you to meet Chelsey – one of our top Nerds. Hear her out.

Hello, I’m Chelsey. I decided to contribute into Nerdify Reviews topic to share my experience and help people who suffer from the phenomenon of “unhealthy perfectionism”. I see myself as a perfectionist, albeit an unhealthy one. I mentally criticize people (specifically new ones) who I think do not meet my standards or expectations.  

I’m afraid of failure because I always want to be “perfect”. In school, I exert as much effort as I can in my exams. When the results are not in my favor, I would internally beat myself up for not getting the grade I desire. I tend to be overly cautious of taking risks, possibly rooted from my fear of failure. If I stay in my comfort zone, then nothing will happen.

I conducted a short research about perfectionism, and I’d say that (to an extent) I inhibit one of the main signs of a perfectionist. I’m not surprised; perfectionism does have harmful effects on my mental health.

What is Perfectionism?

Perfect means “… being entirely without fault or defect.” Now, if we look at Merriam-Webster’s definition of perfectionism, it means “… to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.”

In psychology, perfectionism in the psychological field means “… striving for flawlessness and setting high-performance standards….”

If they do not meet such standards, it would take a huge toll on their self-esteem and self-worth. On the same vein, unattained goals and standards would contribute to disappointment and unhappiness. Possibly, even depression.

Why is it a Toxic Trait? 

People usually regard perfectionism as a “positive” trait. I’ve read articles that it is a cliché answer to the job question, “what is your weakness?”

Yes, it can be your weakness. But did you know perfectionism is more than that? Are you aware that it is toxic to your mental health and detrimental to your growth? For the curious soul, here are the reasons why:

You can’t bring yourself to commit mistakes or experience failure, for they make you believe you are incompetent. You have to be ready to face failure in order to be successful.

You don’t celebrate with pure joy and happiness. Instead, your success and achievements are met with scorn and self-criticism. Negative self-talk is what harms your happiness. You are too focused on the negative aspect of things.

You are afraid of being judged. You like other people to see you as a perfect human being (when in fact, you’re not). Perhaps you are hesitant in stating your flaws, as it may ruin your “perfect” self. There’s internal pressure involved too.

Apparently, these reasons are also correlated with the signs of perfectionism. Let us move on.

Five Signs of Perfectionism

1. Setting high (unrealistic) goals and standards

There’s nothing bad in establishing standards and not settling for anything less. It’s not even bad to have high goals. However, creating unrealistic standards and goals is unhealthy because they have to be realistic. Further, you are pressured to accomplish your goal no matter what. You may even have the tendency to expect that everyone has to abide by your… demanding and ultra-high standards. As said by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist. perfectionists are critical of people and expect them to be perfect as well.

2. Fear of failure/Making mistakes and staying within your comfort zone

You set a goal for yourself, but you are afraid of failure. In that regard, you are more inclined to focus on the end results (without fail) rather than enjoying the thrill and experience of achieving your goal.  On the other hand, you refuse to move out of your “shell” because you don’t want to disappoint yourself (or anyone). Hence, you lean towards tasks you can do successfully—100% guaranteed. This brings more harm than good to your mental health and personal growth.

3. Trust issues

According to Elizabeth Lombardo Ph.D., perfectionists rarely delegate tasks because they think that their peers cannot do the job correctly. In practical settings, you don’t trust your colleagues enough if you want to assign them work. In the end, you do everything by yourself.

4. Low self-esteem and unhappiness

Let’s say you are angry with yourself because you failed to reach your goals. You immediately conclude you are inadequate and flawed. It can leave you a feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Kendra Cherry states that fear of failure is a sign of low self-esteem.

5. Negative self-talk and too critical

Perfectionists have the habit of finding faults in their achievements— no matter how small that is. You loathe yourself because you are not good enough. Therefore, your mind ends up being clouded with negative thoughts. You are also too critical of other people. Like I said, perfectionists highly expect their peers to be of “high standard” and “perfect”. This may push (or intimidate) people away. Unfortunately, it can lead to loneliness.

Overcoming Perfectionism: What Can You Do?

1. Accept the realities of life

Let’s do a reality check—you have to acknowledge that everyone, including you, makes mistakes in life. We fail in life— tests, interviews, work, assignments, and etc. At the end of the day, they push us to do better and improve ourselves.  Just like everyone else, you have flaws. Don’t expect people to be exactly like you. Every individual is different. 2

2. Take on the challenge

Risk-taking is hard, as we do not know what is beyond the abyss of the unknown. If you are eyeing an activity that you’ve always wanted to try, go on ahead… don’t be afraid of failure and mistakes. Let go, and experience the “challenge” in all its glory.

3. Be open to learning

We have to reskill to cater to the demands of the 21st century. Skills are also a plus point in the workforce. When you are learning, always remember that everyone starts out as a noob or a newbie.

4. Set realistic goals and standards

Be grounded in reality! It’s fine to have high standards, but they have to be realistic. Use your standards as a guide or a framework, rather as an absolute ideal.  Also, make your goals feasible (Remember SMART?). Again, don’t let failure bring you down. Failure does not mean that you are garbage, and it does not define who you are. As said by Oscar the Grouch, “just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It is called garbage can, not garbage cannot.”

Don’t forget to reward yourself if you achieved something big or small. Bring nothing but good vibes ☺

5. Learn to trust and delegate tasks

This is a leap of fate you must take. If you are overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to ask your colleague for assistance. You have to learn to understand and work with your peers. Bear in mind that you can’t do everything by yourself all the time. 

After reading about perfectionism, I realized that I need to work on myself. I’d say that it was an eye-opening experience. Perfectionism is embedded in my psyche, and it will be a challenge to completely get rid of it. I hope this article has made you reflect on yourself.

How about you? Do you consider yourself as a perfectionist?

xoxo, Chelsey

More Nerdify reviews to come, stay tuned!